I am so often asked "So what type of submissive are you?" at munches and events by others. When I reply "I am a service oriented submissive" people's reactions range from bemused confusion to a completely blank look. That is just from people that are allegedly old hands in the BDSM scene. I can totally understand a blank look from people new to the kink community not understanding what that means. However from people that claim to be Old Guard, Old School, "Thirty years in the scene"; Highly Experienced Masters/Mistresses? Seriously? You have never encountered someone like me before? I find that harder to believe especially when they lecture me about what I am doing wrong in aspects of my kink life because I do not combine kink and sex...like they do. These same experienced, often big side of the slash type people, then go on to question me about what kinds of things a service submissive does in detail
I do not often understand where the confusion arises about service oriented submissives and service oriented submission. I did not think it was that hard really, but obviously it is a real brain bender, particularly when coupled with a non-sexual basis to the service. I would have thought the words service oriented submissive would perhaps give some clues, or be self explanatory, but again obviously not. My sincere apologies for being unclear
I am a submissive individual. My submission is service oriented. It is completely non-sexual when being offered as a general type of submissive service (e.g serving beverages or food at an event) to large groups of people. Much in the same way you would not expect to have sex with the waitress at a restaurant in the restaurant during the meal, if it helps to compare the service to a vanilla setting. Obviously when in service to a Dominant and Owned and in an intimate relationship with them that is an entirely different situation and I perform any and all services as They require. Asking me a question like "So what kind of service based submission do you prefer to offer?" might be a much better question
I am at heart a house service submissive. This, in essence, means I am most comfortable as part of a Household structure serving the House and its Owners as a whole rather than being owned purely by a single person who just wants a primarily sexual based submissive with whom to have sex and display at play parties for sexual gratification, not that there is anything wrong with that kind of dynamic. It suits many others and that is lovely for them. That kind of sexual based submission is just not my preference
My service is predominantly based in a non-sexual manner. Think a housekeeper of a Victorian or Edwardian house or an executive personal assistant. I do my best to make sure everything and everyone for whom I am responsible and to whom I am responsible in the House upholds their responsibilities, including myself. This means making sure tasks are completed on time, the calendar appointments are updated and reminded, the household is attended to and the nitty-gritty details are done in advance so that the Owners basically do not have to worry about those boring little details. That is my job. That is what makes me happiest
I love to have the House running smoothly, quietly. To have everything "just so" the way it was instructed originally so that constant micromanagement is avoided. That everything is to hand instantly and returned there for next time. To have everything running along so that the rest of the submissives of the House know their responsibilities without having to micromanage them constantly either so they do their tasks to their best ability. That I feel is the ultimate compliment to pay both sides of the slash so that no one feels unsure or left out and everyone is satisfied ultimately
To have an event occur flawlessly. Sprezzatura is the goal for all in service of the House or event so that if it has made others pleased and they have had a wonderful time at the event, or for them to have not even noticed the service going on around them as it was so unobtrusive, then we have done well. Those are the things that often please me more than most sexual experiences
